The Future of Marriage

The most recent studies of trends in marriage and family life are very encouraging for evangelical Christians. Not that there is a mass movement toward biblical morality, but that many of the liberalizing trends of the 1960s and 70s have lost momentum. In addition, studies consistently reveal that adults in long-term marriages, and children being raised in two-parent households are happier and healthier. When it comes to wealth, mental/emotional health, physical health and overall happiness, long-term marriage and two parent families are preferable to all other options.
Over the last decade, and among young people in particular, marriage and family life have increased in importance. Youth look forward to life-long marriages and children, and believe marriage should only be ended in divorce as a last resort. They do not believe in staying married for the sake of the children but do believe divorce can cause significant problems for children. Although young people believe that marriage is the ideal situation for raising children, they see no stigma in unmarried childbearing, which to them is better than a forced marriage, abortion or adoption. In addition, there are more conservative attitudes toward uncommitted pre-marital sexual relationships and less tolerance for extra-marital affairs.
However, young people have become less conservative in one area—cohabitation. “A significant majority of young people go a step beyond acceptance and actively endorse living together before marriage as a good idea to see if they really get along. These trends toward acceptance and endorsement of unmarried cohabitation appear to be relatively long-term and have continued with strength into the late 1990s” (Thornton and Young-DeMarco, “Four Decades of Trends in Attitudes Toward Family Issues in the United States: The 1960s Through the 1990s,” Journal of Marriage and Family 63 (2001):1009-1037). In the last two decades over half of all marriages began in cohabitation and according to the studies, this trend will continue far into the future.
Every pastor and lay person knows this trend has also touched the evangelical church. How should the church respond to young members who are cohabiting? Do young people even know it is a sin? Do they care? Should we employ church discipline or ignore it and hope it goes away? How should the pastor and church respond to cohabiting couples who wish to be married in the church? Should we ignore the need for repentance or refuse to marry them unless they repent? What can the church do now in a proactive manner to address this need? It is a problem that will not go away soon.
For more details and information on marriage and family issues, one should go to The National Council on Family Relations at ncfr.com, and The Heritage Foundation at heritage.org.
Robert (2003, archive)